Thursday, October 09, 2003

Gary Coleman Top 10

Top Ten Ways California Would Be Different If I, Gary Coleman, Had Been Elected Governor...

10. "Pretty much the same as Schwarzenegger, but less body oil"
9. "Three words: Lieutenant Governor Urkel"
8. "Thanks to my innocent charm, I'd get away with 60% more groping"
7. "I guess I'd have to quit my job as a security guard"
6. "You may not agree with me, but at least you could understand me"
5. "Inaugural address would have a laugh track"
4. "Television viewers wouldn't know if they were watching C-Span or Nick at Nite"
3. "Wouldn't have to worry about me having to take time off to do movies"
2. "I would form a task force to find out exactly what Willis was talking about"
1. "Unlike Schwarzenegger, I would admit I'm not qualified"

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